Overcoming Defensive Reactions

How to respond in a more constructive way to feedback and criticism

Sometimes, when we receive feedback or criticism, our immediate reaction is to become defensive. This reaction can be harmful to our relationships and our self-improvement. Here are some strategies we can use to overcome defensiveness:

1. Self-awareness: Start by recognising your defensive behaviours and their triggers. This awareness is the first step towards change. A thought diary is a foundational place to begin increasing self-awareness. Keep track of thoughts that pop up in the form of an automatic reaction. Track what was occurring at the time. Track your level of emotion to the stimulus. If time allows, analyse the underlying reason for the emotion experienced.
2. Practise mindfulness. Mindfulness can help us become more aware of our thoughts and emotions in the present moment. When we are mindful, we can observe our defensive reactions without judgement. This can help us respond in a more constructive way.
3. Empathy and active listening: When we receive feedback or criticism, it can be helpful to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. Try to understand their perspective and their reasons for providing feedback. Active listening can also be helpful. This means listening to the other person without interrupting or becoming defensive.
4. Shift perspectives: When we become defensive, it can be helpful to shift our perspective. Instead of seeing feedback as a personal attack, we can see it as an opportunity for growth. We can also try to see the situation from the other person’s point of view.

By using these strategies, we can overcome defensiveness and respond in a more constructive way to feedback and criticism. This can help us improve our relationships and our self-improvement.

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