Remember that feeling? The one where you’re plugging away, day in and day out. You pour your energy into a project or a skill. You’re even working on becoming a better version of yourself. You’re working hard, but it feels like you’re standing still, watching everyone else sprint past you on some imaginary track. Their finish lines seem so clear, so celebrated. Your own? Well, sometimes it feels like it’s hiding in a fog.
I’ve been there. For over two decades, I have helped folks tell their stories and connect with their audience. During this time, I’ve seen countless people, including myself, get caught in the comparison trap. We watch someone else’s highlight reel. Their promotions, their finished books, and their perfectly curated lives show a polished narrative. We measure our winding, often messy path against it. It’s a recipe for feeling stuck, for wondering if we’re truly making any headway at all.
But what if I told you that the secret to consistent onward motion isn’t about hitting grand achievements every quarter? It’s not about public-facing successes. What if it’s about learning to spot the subtle, personal markers of progress that are absolutely unique to you? That’s what we’re going to uncover here. We’ll explore how to shift your viewpoint, finding joy and reinforcement in the steps only you can truly see. By the end, you’ll have a fresh way to cheer yourself on. Your journey will become not just productive, but genuinely fulfilling.
Key Takeaways:
- Growth isn’t a straight line. Expect detours and unique pacing.
- Traditional milestones don’t fit every story. Your progress markers are personal.
- Small actions build big change. Each tiny step matters more than you think.
- Self-appreciation powers your path. Recognising your wins fuels future effort.
- Reflection is your best tool. Use it to see how far you’ve come.
The Unseen Hurdles: Why We Miss Our Own Progress
It’s funny, isn’t it? We’re so good at celebrating others. We cheer for friends getting new jobs, clap for family completing marathons, and congratulate colleagues on big project wins. But when it comes to ourselves, we often go silent. This is especially true when our journey doesn’t look like a neatly packaged success story. We dismiss our efforts, wave away compliments, and rarely take a moment to truly soak in how far we’ve come.
Why is that? Well, part of it stems from how we’re often taught to view achievement. We grow up with these big, shiny benchmarks: graduation, marriage, a corner office, and a certain amount in the bank. These are clear. They’re public. They’re easy to point to and say, “Look, I did it!”
But real life, especially the life of self-discovery and unique growth, doesn’t always work that way. It’s more like a winding river than a straight highway. There are eddies, rapids, quiet pools, and even times you feel like you’re paddling upstream. If you’re only looking for bridges and dams, you’ll miss the beauty of the flow itself.
I remember early in my career, feeling these emotions constantly. I observed other writers securing awards, garnering media attention, and expanding their clientele. Meanwhile, I wrestled with a tricky headline for days. I was trying to make it just right. I struggled to nail a client’s voice. I’d finish a project and feel a fleeting moment of relief. Then, I would promptly jump to the next thing. I was convinced I hadn’t really done anything special. This constant pursuit of external approval was exhausting. It felt like I was running on a treadmill, never quite reaching the end.
That “Aha!” Moment: When the Goalposts Moved
My real shift came years ago, during a particularly tough period. I was working on a project that just wouldn’t click. Every word felt forced, every idea stale. I was frustrated, bordering on quitting the whole thing. My mentor, a wise old bird with a twinkle in his eye, saw that I was struggling. He didn’t offer a magic solution for the project. Instead, he simply asked, “Keith, what’s different now? How do you approach this wall compared to six months ago or even a year ago?”
His question stopped me cold. I expected him to ask about the client, the brief, and the strategy. But he asked about me. As I reflected on the situation, I realised that my response had changed. A year before, I would have panicked, probably tried to force a solution, and ended up with something mediocre. This time, I was still frustrated, but I hadn’t given up. I was asking better questions. I was exploring different angles. Even though it hurt, I was staying curious about why it wasn’t working. I was not just accepting that it wasn’t working.
That conversation served as a transformative moment for me. It showed me that progress wasn’t just about the finished product but about the process. It was about the subtle shifts in how I thought, how I problem-solved, and how I handled setbacks. Those tiny, internal victories were just as real, if not more so, than any award. They were proof that I was becoming a stronger, more resilient creative.
You’re wondering how you can spot these subtle wins in your life. It starts with redefining what a “milestone” even means.
Redefining “Milestone”: It’s More Than a Grand Archway
When we see a “milestone,” we often think of something grand. A finish line with confetti, a trophy, a published book, and a big promotion. And yes, those are absolutely things to celebrate! But what about the journey between those big moments? That’s where the real magic unfolds, where genuine growth establishes itself.
For a unique journey, a milestone is not a towering archway. It is a well-worn stone path you’ve built yourself, one step at a time. It can be:
- Mastering a tiny, difficult skill: The first time you code a perfect line. You play a tough chord. You craft a sentence that truly sings.
- Overcoming a personal hurdle: Speaking up in a meeting when you usually stay quiet. Say “no” to something that doesn’t serve you. Stick to a new healthy habit for a week straight.
- A shift in perspective: You realise you no longer react to an old trigger. You see a challenge as an opportunity rather than a blockade. You feel less afraid of uncertainty.
- A moment of true learning: Understanding a complex idea that used to puzzle you. Connecting disparate concepts. When you recognise a pattern in your own behaviour.
- Building a new habit: Show up for your writing practice every morning. Meditate for five minutes a day. Consistently reach out to new connections.
These aren’t always visible to others. They’re often quiet victories, felt deep inside. They are, though, the absolute bedrock of becoming more authentically you. They are your personal progress markers, and they deserve every bit of recognition.
Three Key Strategies for Spotting Your Unique Progress
Finding these personalised milestones requires intentionality. It’s not always automatic, especially when our brains are wired to look for the big, obvious wins. Here are a few ways I’ve learned to tune into my journey’s rhythm.
1. Ask Different Questions: Your Inner Compass
We often ask ourselves, “What have I achieved?” or “What’s done?” These are important, but they focus solely on the output. To uncover deeper progress, try asking questions that look at the process and your internal shifts:
- “What did I learn this week, even if it felt small?” Maybe it was a new software trick or the realisation that certain meetings always sap your energy.
- “How did I handle a challenge differently than I would have before?” Did you stay calmer? Seek help? Break it down into smaller pieces.
- “What’s one thing I did today that moved me closer to who I want to be?” Did I move ahead even if it wasn’t the main goal? Take a moment for quiet reflection. Offer a kind word. Show up when you feel like hiding.
- “What belief about myself or the world has softened or changed?” Maybe you’re less afraid of failure or more open to asking for help.
These questions shift your gaze from the external finish line to the path you’re creating with each step. They encourage a curious stance towards your experience, seeing growth not just in outcomes but in transformation.
2. Embrace the Messy Middle: Imperfection as Progress
Oh, the messy middle! The transitional phase between initiating and completing a task is often characterised by confusion, uncertainty, and a lack of perfection. It’s where most people give up, thinking their struggle means they’re not making progress. I’ve been there, staring at a half-finished draft, feeling like I was back at the beginning.
But the messy middle is where growth happens. Pushing through discomfort, trying different approaches, and not having all the answers are all forms of progress. It means you’re leaning into uncertainty, testing your limits, and building resilience.
Think of it like learning to paint. Your first few strokes won’t be a masterpiece. They are awkward; the colours are muddy. But the act of making those strokes, of experimenting and adjusting, is what moves you ahead. Each “mistake” teaches you something, refining your technique. The messy canvas shows your effort. It is a sign you’re actively engaged in learning. You are not just waiting for perfection. Celebrate the smudges, the re-dos, and the moments when you had to pause and think. They are proof you’re truly becoming an artist of your life.
3. The Power of Small Wins: Tiny Steps, Big Ripples
We often wait for monumental achievements to pop the champagne. But what if we celebrated the cork popping on a small bottle of sparkling water for a tiny win? Small wins, often dismissed as insignificant, are the true engine of sustained effort.
Let’s say you’re trying to write a book. The “big win” is the completed manuscript. The “small wins” are:
- Writing for 30 minutes when you felt zero inspiration.
- Deleting a paragraph that wasn’t working, even though you spent hours on it.
- Receiving encouraging feedback on a chapter.
- Just showing up at your desk when you wanted to do anything else.
These small wins aren’t just feel-good moments; they’re vital data points. They confirm that your actions are producing results, no matter how minor. This feedback loop builds confidence and motivation. It’s like gathering tiny pebbles to build a path. Each one seems small, but together, they create a solid route onward. This process reinforces that you can learn through action, one small, deliberate step at a time.
How to Truly Celebrate Your Unique Progress
Once you’ve started spotting these personal milestones, how do you acknowledge them in a way that truly matters?
- Pause and Reflect: Don’t just tick it off. Take a moment. Write it down in a journal. Tell a trusted friend. Really feel the sense of accomplishment. This isn’t about bragging; it’s about internalising the win.
- Reward Yourself (Meaningfully): Your reward doesn’t have to be expensive. Enjoy a favourite coffee. Take an hour to read a book. Consider going for a walk or listening to a beloved album. Choose something that genuinely recharges you and connects with your inner joy.
- Share with Your Inner Circle: Share your unique wins with those who truly understand your journey. Their support can make a big difference. Their affirmation can amplify your own.
- Visualise the Path: Sometimes, I’ll draw a winding line on a piece of paper. I mark out my “small wins” along it. Seeing the visual progression reminds me that even when the destination feels far off, I’m absolutely moving.
The Ripple Effect of Self-Appreciation
When you consistently recognise and celebrate your personal growth markers, something wonderful happens. You build an internal reservoir of confidence and intrinsic drive. You stop needing external validation quite so much because you’re validating yourself. This doesn’t make you arrogant; it makes you resilient.
You become more attuned to your rhythm, more trusting of your instincts. You learn to listen to that quiet voice inside that says, “You’re doing well.” Keep going.” This self-awareness helps you lead with purpose. It lets you stay true to your authentic self. This occurs even when the world around you is pushing different narratives of success.
It lets you embrace the uncertainty that comes with any real quest for self-discovery. You know that every step is a step closer to becoming the most genuine version of you. Every question asked and every lesson learned from action also bring you closer. It frees up your curiosity to explore new paths, rather than constantly looking over your shoulder.
Wrapping Up
Becoming more self-assured is not a race with a single destination. It’s a continuous journey, replete with unexpected turns and many chances for small victories. We build an unbreakable momentum by changing how we view progress. We celebrate the internal shifts, the small actions, and the messy efforts. We move ahead not because we’re chasing an external ideal. Instead, we move onward by honouring the genuine, evolving people we are becoming. Take a moment today to acknowledge one small, unique step you’ve taken. It just might be the most important step of all.
🌱 Beyond the Conversation: The Growthenticity Connection
The core ideas explored in this article aren’t just isolated concepts; they deeply resonate with the principles of what I call ‘Growthenticity’:
“The continuous, integrated process of becoming more oneself (authentic) through leading with questions, learning through action, and growing by embracing uncertainty and imperfection, all fuelled by curiosity.”
Celebrate growth milestones on your unique path. We need to lead with questions about what true progress looks like for us. It shouldn’t be about accepting predefined notions. It encourages learning through action by recognising that every effort, every stumble, and every small victory offers valuable lessons. By acknowledging non-linear progress, we embrace the messy middle. We naturally embrace uncertainty and imperfection. We understand that these are vital parts of our real self-discovery. This entire process is deeply personal and reflective. It inevitably fuels curiosity about our unfolding selves. The journey of becoming more authentic is a joyful, ongoing exploration.
👉 I encourage you to check out my paid Substack offerings at Lead, Learn, Grow. You can further explore concepts like ‘Growthenticity.’ You will also gain access to practical tools and connect with a supportive community. This community focuses on fostering authentic and impactful growth.
Join us as we unpack these ideas and support each other on our journeys.
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Your Turn
What’s one small, unique step you’ve taken recently that deserves a moment of celebration? Share your reflection or plan to acknowledge it in the comments below.
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