Bridging the invisible gap between who you are today and the leader you need to be tomorrow.
I remember staring at my performance review in a large government agency, confused and frustrated. The feedback was glowing. I had hit every target. My technical work was flawless.
But when the opportunity for a senior leadership position arose, they overlooked me.
“You’re indispensable where you are,” my manager told me. Although it sounded like a compliment, it felt like a cage. I had become so effective at being a ‘reliable doer’ that nobody imagined me as anything else.
I thought the problem was that I needed more certification or another project under my belt. I was wrong. The issue wasn’t my competence; it was my identity.
I was suffering from identity lag. My internal view of myself—a hardworking problem solver—had not caught up to the external reality of the role I wanted. I was still operating as an individual contributor, hoping to be rewarded with leadership. I needed to embody the leader who happened to contribute.
Making the leap to the next level isn’t just about doing more work. It requires a fundamental shift in how you operate and view yourself.
Key Takeaways
- The Competence Trap: Improving your current skillset (horizontal development) often anchors you to your current role. It does not prepare you for the next one.
- Updating Your Internal Operating System: True advancement requires ‘vertical development’. It involves a psychological shift in how you make meaning of the world and your authority within it.
- The Impostor Signal: Feeling like a fraud isn’t always a sign of weakness. It can indicate that your identity is stretching to accommodate a new reality.
The Trap of Horizontal Growth
Most of us are trained to grow horizontally. We learn new software, master a new regulation, or improve our writing speed. This is horizontal development. It is like adding new apps to your phone.
While useful, this approach does not automatically change your operating system. If you rely solely on this method, you may find your career future-proof plan is missing a critical component.
When I was stuck, I kept trying to add more ‘apps’. I took on extra files, stayed late, and double-checked everyone’s work. All I did was prove I was the best senior analyst in the building. I proved I was the best firefighter, so they kept me in the fire station.
To get promoted, you typically need vertical development. This process involves upgrading the operating system itself. It is not about knowing more; it is about seeing more.
Vertical development expands your capacity to handle complexity. It shifts your focus from “How do I solve this problem?” to “Why does this problem exist, and who is best placed to solve it?”
Relying solely on your technical skills will eventually lead to a plateau. The skills that got you here are often the exact things holding you back from moving forward.
Kegan’s Stages and the Self-Authoring Mind
Psychologist Robert Kegan outlines stages of adult development that explain this perfectly. Early in our careers, we often sit in the ‘Socialised Mind’ stage.
In this stage, our self-worth is tied to external validation. We are good employees because the boss says we are. We follow the rules and seek approval.
The promotion you want usually requires a shift to the self-authoring mind.
In this stage, you step back. You are no longer solely defined by your relationships or your immediate tasks. You develop your own internal compass, which requires a high degree of self-awareness. You can look at the organisation’s rules and decide which ones serve the mission and which ones don’t.
I recall a moment in a complex judicial organisation when a standard procedure was slowing down a critical project. The ‘old me’ would have worked harder to force the project through the procedure.
The ‘new me’—attempting to step into that self-authoring space—paused. I questioned the procedure itself. I proposed a new workflow and risked being wrong.
That was the moment my identity began to shift. I stopped asking for permission to lead and started offering a vision.
Signs You Are Stuck in Identity Lag
How do you know if your mindset is the bottleneck? Look for these signals in your daily work:
- You wait for instructions: You notice a problem. However, you wait for someone with a ‘manager’ title to sign off on the solution.
- You hoard work: you believe that if you don’t do it, it won’t be done right. This signals you still value yourself as a producer, creating a barrier to effective delegation.
- You defend rather than enquire: when challenged, you defend your work. This is an expert mindset. A learner mindset explores the critique to understand it better.
This last point is crucial. A growth mindset isn’t just about learning skills. It requires you to be willing to let your current identity evolve. Only then can a new one emerge.
Bridging the Gap: Practical Reinvention
You cannot simply think your way into a new way of acting. You must act your way into a new way of thinking.
1. Re-write Your Job Description Internally
Stop viewing yourself as the person who does the tasks. Start viewing yourself as the person responsible for the outcome of the tasks.
This subtle shift changes everything. You might notice that training a colleague to do the task is better. It is a more effective use of time if you are responsible for the outcome. You stop protecting your territory and start building capacity.
2. Practise Strategic Silence
In meetings, the expert feels the need to have the answer right away. The leader is comfortable with silence.
I used to rush to fill every pause with data to prove my worth. Now, I try to maximise the productivity of stillness. I let the question hang in the air and allow others to step in. By doing less, I create space for the team to step up. This shows that I trust them and demonstrates to my superiors that I can control the room without dominating it.
3. Embrace the ‘Impostor’
We often view impostor syndrome as a defect. I see it as growing pains.
If you feel like you are faking it, it likely means you are operating outside your comfort zone. You are trying on a new identity.
When I started managing managers, I felt like a fraud. I didn’t know the technical details of their daily work anymore, and I felt exposed.
But that exposure was necessary. It forced me to rely on questioning and curiosity rather than answers. I had to trust my judgement of people rather than my judgement of code or spreadsheets. This discomfort is often a necessary step in overcoming impostor syndrome and building genuine confidence.
Wrapping Up
The lag between who you are and who you want to be is uncomfortable. It is a liminal space where you are no longer the star individual contributor but not yet the confident executive.
Don’t rush to fill that gap with busy work. Sit with the discomfort. Recognise that your hesitation isn’t a lack of skill—it is your mind upgrading its software. The promotion doesn’t automatically make you a leader. You become a leader first, in your head and your habits, and the title eventually follows.
🌱 The Identity Lag: The Growthenticity Connection
The core ideas explored in this article aren’t just isolated concepts; they deeply resonate with the principles of what I call ‘Growthenticity’:
“The continuous, integrated process of becoming more oneself (authentic) through leading with questions, learning through action, and growing by embracing uncertainty and imperfection, all fuelled by curiosity.”
Identity lag is essentially a crisis of authenticity. You are holding onto a past version of yourself because it feels safe. This version is no longer true to your potential. Overcoming it requires the courage to embrace imperfection. You must be willing to be a beginner again in the realm of leadership. By leading with questions about your self-perception, you fuel the curiosity needed to evolve into your next chapter.
👉 I encourage you to check out my paid Substack offerings at Lead, Learn, Grow. You can further explore concepts like ‘Growthenticity,’ gain access to practical tools, and connect with a supportive community. This community focuses on encouraging authentic and impactful growth.
Join us as we unpack these ideas and support each other on our journeys.
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Your Turn
When was the last time you felt “ready” for a role on paper but realised your mindset was still stuck in your previous position?
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